"Oh yes," she moaned, "oh yes," as she closed her eyes in ecstasy.
On O'Connell Street in North Adelaide, Onyx greeted us with a broken door, a door that would only open a sliver and forced us to think thin thoughts as we squeezed our way inside - ironic thoughts to be having upon entering a dessert bar. Onyx takes itself much too seriously while trying to soften the blow by having fun and colourful decor. The juxtaposition of the service versus the furniture was confusing, and so we simply sat on our comically large round chaises with our chins almost on the slightly-too-tall tables perusing the menu on mini iPads while very formal waiters in black tie attire took our order.
I ordered the Peanut Chocolate Fondant and, after seeing the coffees ordered by my friends, hastily threw in a mocha (this turned out to be a mistake that I didn't discover until much later, approximately 2.04am as I lay wide eyed and staring at the ceiling). My dark chocolate mocha returned on a trendy and apparently difficult to carry slab of slate ("Is this real slate? Dishwashable, microwaveable, oven safe.. I think it's ceramic") with a teeny tiny little almond cake, sugar cube - cue equine jokes - and a strange silver stick masquerading as a spoon.
Enter the Peanut Chocolate Fondant. Placed jauntily off-centre and perfectly aligned with the circular pattern of the plate, it looked reasonably harmless and demure, kind of. Topped with peanut brittle and salted caramel ice cream, and surrounded by more salted peanuts, the Fondant was simply oozing with peanut chocolate sauce.
"Der ver zwei peanuts, valking down der strasse, and von vas . . . assaulted! peanut."I finished it wild eyed, scared and shaking. "What have I done?" I cried, upset no one had saved me from myself, looking at the unfinished desserts around me and wishing I had the same level self control as I lifted my spoon and tried to scrape up the last little bit of melted-salted-caramel-icecream-chocolate-peanut-sauce without resorting to licking my plate.
I don't think I can go back any time soon, I probably can't fit through the door.